“But that does not mean that confession is a light and easy thing, a simple mouthing of words, a verbal ritual. Mere admission is not confession. We dishonor Christ by a frivolous view of confession that fails to appreciate how much our sin cost Him. Although not a spiritual self-flagellation, biblical confession does involve at least some degree of grief for the sin committed.” -Donald S. Whitney1
Our series on this blog has been to introduce and discuss the spiritual disciplines, most especially through looking at the life and sayings of Jesus. I have defined the spiritual disciplines as “following Jesus in the overall style of life he chose for himself.” This task has been straight-forward as we discussed prayer and solitude, Bible reading, and simple living. In this week’s post, we come to a more difficult subject to glean from Jesus’ life. We are talking about confession of sin.
“Without the cross the Discipline of confession would be only psychologically therapeutic. But it is so much more. It involves an objective change in our relationship with God and a subjective change in us. It is a means of healing and transforming the inner spirit.” -Richard J. Foster2
The reason confession of sin is a difficult spiritual discipline to discuss from the life of Jesus is simply because Jesus never had sin to confess! Jesus was morally perfect (Hebrews 4:15; 1 Peter 2:22).
If the spiritual disciplines are “following Jesus in the overall style of life he chose for himself,” can there be a spiritual discipline that Jesus never seemed to need? That is another great question, reader. Thank you for asking!
Jesus spent most of His time in community.3 In those times, we do find Him doing certain things that connect with this week’s subject. Let me back up and quote Dallas Willard, who said, “In [the spiritual discipline of confession] we let trusted others know our deepest weaknesses and failures. This will nourish our faith in God’s provision for our needs through his people, our sense of being loved, and our humility before our brothers and sisters. Thus we let some friends in Christ know who we really are, not holding back anything important, but, ideally, allowing complete transparency. We lay down the burden of hiding and pretending, which normally takes up such a dreadful amount of human energy. We engage and are engaged by others in the most profound depths of the soul.”4
When we understand confession better, with the help of big brother Dallas Willard, we can better see the connection between the life of Jesus and the discipline of confession. What else could the three year block of training for the twelve disciples be other than Jesus revealing His identity to its deepest level?
The discipline of confession is a Christian revealing the profound depths of his or her soul to a trusted brother or sister. The difference between our confessing and Jesus’ confessing is that our souls include sin. So, our practical expressions of confession to one another will include sin, though Jesus’ expressions never did.
“When I admonish men to come to confession, I am simply urging them to be Christians.” -Martin Luther
God’s aim for Christians is to restore relationship with us. If He is in relationship with us, He knows us and we know Him. That is, as is often observed, a vertical angle: God and man, in right relationship. He also designed humanity to be in right relationship with one another. That is the horizontal angle. We are not meant to be isolated. I am reminded of the famous poem by John Donne, “No Man is an Island.” It reads as follows:
No man is an island,
Entire of itself;
Every man is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less,
As well as if a promontory were:
As well as if a manor of thy friend’s
Or of thine own were.
Any man’s death diminishes me,
Because I am involved in mankind.
And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls;
It tolls for thee.
For us to remain isolated and unknown, by choice, robs us of the flourishing God designed for us. He designed us to flourish in community.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer speaks to it in this way. “Confession is the God-given remedy for self-deception and self-indulgence. When we confess our sins before a brother-Christian, we are mortifying the pride of the flesh and delivering it up to shame and death through Christ. Then through the word of absolution we rise as new men, utterly dependent on the mercy of God. Confession is thus a genuine part of the life of the saints, and one of the gifts of grace. But if it wrongly used, punishment is bound to ensue. In confession, the Christian is conformed to the death of Christ.”5
Confession creates a means to a more Christlike character. If our aim is to be those who are “following Jesus in the overall style of life he chose for himself,” then the practical means of achieving that goal are necessary. I have had many conversations with Christians who want to grow as believers. They understand the need to read their Bible and pray and participate in the worship gatherings of the church. But, anecdotally, I see less willingness to be known by other Christians. Leaving this spiritual discipline untried would be like “leaving money on the table,” to use that old saying.
Why do we avoid the discipline of confession?
We fear being known. To be known and yet unloved is terrifying. To be “loved” and unknown is anemic, functionally worthless. We overcome fear with love and trust. We must love and trust the Lord, that He knows what He is doing. That He designed this practice for His glory and our good, and that He did so on purpose. James 5:16a says, “Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, so that you may be healed.” Confession requires that we trust God, yes, but also that we trust one another. We must trust that other Christians actually do have our best interests at heart.
As scary as it may be and as difficult as it seems, we need confession. Become part of a healthy church. Join as a member. Get to know other Christians in that fellowship. Join a small group or life group, depending on how your church is organized. In that context, confess who you are and what you have done. Do not let pride get in your way. Don’t harbor secret sins that you can keep as some kind of spiritual pet. Have more of Christ in your character! Repent, and walk towards Jesus, arm in arm with your Christian brethren. Confession is cleansing, life-giving, and precious.
And when others confess their lives and their sins to you, you must steward that trust well. That information is not for public dissemination. It is also not a reason for you to treat your fellow believer as less-than. You take in that information and you love that person anyway. You do not hold those sins against them. You encourage them to forsake sin and to follow Christ in righteous living (Hebrews 10:24). You celebrate when they experience successes!
“But if we know that the people of God are first a fellowship of sinners, we are freed to hear the unconditional call of God’s love and to confess our needs openly before our brothers and sisters. We know that we are not alone in our sin. The fear and pride that cling to us like barnacles cling to others also. We are sinners together. In acts of mutual confession we release the power that heals. Our humanity is no longer denied, but transformed.”6
- Whitney, Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life, 205. ↩︎
- Foster, Celebration of Discipline, 144. ↩︎
- We spent a whole post on solitude and how Jesus prayed and processed alone. But it is undeniable that Jesus spent the bulk of His time in the midst of other people, from smaller groups like his 12 disciples, all the way up to the large crowds. Also, don’t miss the post we wrote on the discipline of gathering for worship. Meaningful fellowship with other believers is very much a part of that practice. ↩︎
- Dallas Willard, The Spirit of the Disciplines, 187-188. ↩︎
- Dietrich Bonhoeffer, The Cost of Discipleship, 289. ↩︎
- Foster, Celebration of Discipline, 145-146. ↩︎
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